What is Phone Anxiety?
Phone phobia, telephobia or phone anxiety are all terms used to describe the fear and anxiety around the thought of making or receiving telephone calls. This condition is more common than many people realise, especially among the younger generations who have grown up with smartphones from a young age.
We are literally losing the skill of talking on the phone as texting and emailing have become the preferred method of communicating, and it is hard to understand the long-term impact of this.
Understanding Telephobia
My anxious clients often tell me they freeze whenever their phone rings or they are expected to make a call. This instinctive and involuntary response is part of the evolutionary fight, flight and freeze anxiety response to real or perceived danger, and it can be debilitating if left unaddressed.
Here, we address the causes of telephobia, the impact phone anxiety has on daily life, and strategies you can put in place to overcome phone phobia.
We will also examine how an anxiety therapist and specialist can provide invaluable support if you are struggling to make or receive phone calls.
What is Telephobia?
Unlike general or social anxiety, telephobia specifically revolves around verbal phone communication. You may still be comfortable using your phone to communicate via text message, however, go into a state of panic when required to talk on the phone.
Someone experiencing telephobia might feel a sudden surge of terror whenever their phone rings, even if the call is from someone familiar. They may also struggle to make outbound telephone calls. People with this condition may avoid phone-related tasks and experience all the symptoms associated with anxiety, including:
- Rapid heartbeat
- Shallow breathing
- Sweating
- Trembling
- Brain fog
- Difficulty concentrating or focusing
Causes of Telephobia and Phone Anxiety
Telephobia can be triggered by various factors, including:
1. Fear of Judgment
This is when we worry about saying the wrong thing or being misunderstood. We may fear sounding unprofessional or awkward during work-related calls, or we may fear not being able to respond appropriately and causing ourselves embarrassment. We may also fear being rejected if we are asking for something or trying to sell something.
This fear of judgement and rejection can appear terrifying because we are tribal creatures. Historically, if we were kicked out of our tribe, this could easily have led to death, as we would not be able to hunt for food, keep the campfire going, cook, sleep, etc. We needed the support of the entire tribe to survive.
The anxiety around being judged by others triggers our fear of being ostracised from the tribe to whom we belong.
2. Negative Past Experiences
We may have experienced a previous awkward or uncomfortable phone call, such as receiving criticism during a conversation, which may have left a lasting impact.
Sometimes, the sound of our voice or the words we use can make us feel self-conscious. Talking on the phone can also be daunting because there’s no way to read facial expressions and body language.
3. Lack of Control
Unlike text or email, phone calls require an immediate response to whatever is being asked, which can feel overwhelming as it is challenging to prepare for the unknown. This immediacy can heighten anxiety for those who prefer time to process their thoughts.
4. Underlying Anxiety Disorders
Telephobia is often linked to social anxiety, amplifying existing fears of interaction or communication.
Phone anxiety also shares similarities with performance anxiety or glossophobia (stage fright) and the fear of public speaking.
Speaking in public is one of the most common forms of anxiety because it is triggered by having to engage with an audience in real-time, and this can lead to us fearing we will be judged or criticised by others.
You may wish to download the free Exposure Ladder worksheet to help you overcome your phobias.
How Telephobia Affects Daily Life
Telephobia can significantly impact personal and professional life. Simple tasks, such as booking appointments, making enquiries or attending work meetings, can become daunting and overwhelming.
Over time, avoiding phone calls may lead to missed opportunities and strained relationships. For example, a person might miss a job opportunity because they couldn’t complete a phone interview or avoid going to the doctor when they are ill because they are too fearful to make the appointment.
Clients have also explained that it is making it harder for them to perform in their jobs. One of my clients only came to me after she was fired from her job for refusing to talk on the phone. Many people avoid seeking help until the situation is dire.
Addressing telephobia is crucial to prevent these challenges from escalating.
Click the button to speak to an Anxiety Specialist
Tips to Manage and Overcome Telephobia
While overcoming telephobia takes time and effort, there are practical steps you can take:
1. Practice Gradual Exposure Therapy
Since text messaging has become more common than the standard phone call, you may just be out of practice. Introduce the opportunity to make more calls to slowly build your confidence.
Start by making short, low-pressure phone calls, such as calling an answering machine, and gradually build up to more challenging calls to friends and family before moving on to colleagues and strangers.
2. Prepare in Advance
Write down key points or questions you want to discuss before the call. Creating a checklist of important points can help you stay focused and reduce anxiety.
3. Use Breathing Techniques
Deep, controlled breaths can help calm your nerves before and during a call. When we are nervous or anxious, we often think we struggle to take a breath in. However, it is more often that we have not breathed out enough, so take a few long breaths in and out both before and during the call.
4. Role Play
Practice role-playing with a trusted friend or family member to build confidence. You could even ask them to simulate challenging situations to help you prepare.
If no one is available to help you, visualise making the phone call and imagine what questions may be asked.
Your body doesn’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined, so visualising the call before you pick up the phone gives you more confidence that you can do this. Imagine a positive conversation and all the things that could go right rather than what could go wrong. Remember, we get what we focus on.
5. Remind Yourself You Are Safe
Anxiety occurs when we feel unsafe, so remind yourself you are not actually in danger.
Smile before making the call, as this tells your body you are safe. When we feel anxious, we are more likely to stumble on our words, so smiling can help us to come across as more confident.
Also, try to keep your gaze looking up instead of down when you are on the phone. This top tip overrides your nervous system and tells your body you are safe.
6. Seek Professional Help
Working with an anxiety therapist and specialist can provide tailored strategies and emotional support.
The Role of An Anxiety Therapist
Anxiety therapists specialise in understanding the root causes of fears and anxieties, including telephobia. They use evidence-based approaches and provide strategies to help clients develop healthy coping mechanisms and build confidence.
Whether through one-to-one sessions or group therapy, an anxiety therapist and specialist can offer a supportive space to explore and address the underlying factors contributing to all phobias, including telephobia, and can work with you to:
- Identify triggers and thought patterns
- Develop personalised coping strategies
- Provide guidance for gradual exposure to phone calls
- Boost your self-esteem and communication skills
Reassuringly, anxiety therapy has proven effective for many individuals in overcoming telephobia, empowering them to regain confidence in their communication skills.
Remember, you’re not alone, and help is available to guide you on this journey.
Click the button to speak to an Anxiety Specialist
FAQs About Telephobia
1. What is telephobia?
Telephobia is the reluctance, fear or anxiety associated with making or receiving phone calls. It’s a specific form of social anxiety that can affect personal and professional life. Someone with telephobia may avoid answering their phone, even if it’s an urgent call.
2. Can telephobia be treated?
Yes, telephobia can be managed and treated, just like all phobias, through gradual exposure, coping strategies, and support from an anxiety therapist and specialist. Many individuals find significant relief through therapy and self-help techniques.
3. Why do some people fear phone calls?
Common reasons include fear of judgement, past negative experiences, lack of control, and underlying anxiety disorders. For instance, someone might dread answering calls from unfamiliar numbers due to fear of confrontation or making mistakes.
4. How can an anxiety therapist help with telephobia?
An anxiety therapist provides tailored strategies to manage anxiety, build confidence, and gradually overcome the fear of phone calls. They can also help clients identify and reframe negative thought patterns that contribute to their fears.
5. What should I do if I’m too anxious to make a phone call?
Start by preparing in advance, using calming techniques, and practising with a trusted friend. You might also consider leaving voicemails to ease into the process. If the anxiety persists, seek help from an anxiety therapist for professional guidance.
Overcoming telephobia may seem daunting, but with the right strategies and support, you can regain control and confidence in your communication skills. If you’re looking for an anxiety therapist to learn more about how we can help you on your journey to overcoming anxiety, click on the button below.
Other Resources
Understand What is Anxiety?
Discover How To Reduce Anxiety Right Now
Watch some Breathing Techniques to Reduce Anxiety
Read Can Journalling Help With Anxiety
Read What Is Burnout and How To Overcome It
Download The Circle of Control and Influence Worksheet
Download Guide How to Help Your Anxious Child