Understanding Men's Health and Anxiety

Do you ever feel like you are holding everything together on the outside, while inside you are feeling exhausted?

Do you find yourself snapping at people you care about, even though you do not mean to?

Do you feel restless, numb or wound up but cannot find the words to explain what is happening?

These experiences are incredibly common for both men and women, however many men feel they must face them alone. As an Anxiety Specialist and Therapist, we see how often men carry pressure in silence. It could be the pressure to be the provider, to be steady, unshakable, and to hold it all together, or to keep going even when their body and mind are begging them to slow down.

In this article, we want to highlight how and why anxiety affects mens health so powerfully, how it shows up in both the mind and body, and the small daily changes that can make a huge difference. Our aim is also to help you understand that you do not need to carry this burden alone, so we will share relatable client stories as well.

Before we begin, we would like to highlight that this blog offers education and emotional support, it is not a replacement for medical advice.

What We Will Cover:

• Why men often do not recognise their anxiety
• How early conditioning shapes men's emotional responses
• The physical symptoms men often ignore or downplay
• How to understand your Nervous System 
• Why pushing through anxiety eventually backfires
• Real client stories from men who felt the same as you
• Practical tools to help you feel calmer and more in control
• FAQs specific to men's health

 

Why Many Men Do Not Recognise Their Anxiety

When we are first contacted by male clients, most do not necessarily recognise that they feel anxious. Instead they say:

• I feel angry, tense or wound up
• I feel disconnected from myself
• I feel overwhelmed 
• I have no patience left
• I cannot switch off, relax or unwind
• My chest feels tight and fluttery

In many instances, a partner or family member has initially reached out to us to ask if we can support their loved one.

From my own experience, the men who do contact me directly tend to be high functioning with very stressful careers or business owners. They appear more likely to recognise anxiety earlier.

Mental Health UK notes that men often use words such as tired or stressed instead of anxious or low. I believe this is because, from a young age, boys are often encouraged to be strong, calm, and able to solve problems independently. By adulthood, this becomes their automatic default.

This means men, unlike women, often express anxiety through behaviour or physical sensations rather than emotional language.

The Cultural Messages Men Grow Up With

Many men are conditioned from a very young age to believe:

• Emotions are private
• Crying is a weakness
• Talking about feelings burdens others
• Carrying on is the responsible thing to do
• Providing for the family matters more than personal wellbeing
• Being strong means coping alone

But these beliefs come at a cost. When we suppress emotion for years, the nervous system adapts by holding tension. Our shoulders rise, and our stomach tighten. Sleep becomes lighter and broken. Irritation creeps in. The body becomes the container for our unexpressed feelings.

The NHS also notes that high stress levels in men can influence blood pressure, hormones and long-term health.

A Lifetime of Holding Emotion In

One of our clients described a heaviness in his chest every morning. He had led teams for years, helped raise his children, and had always been the one others leaned on. He explained how he had never cried since the age of seven, when he was told by his father that boys don't cry. He couldn't ever recall ever seeing a male role model in his family cry or show emotion.

He told me how he felt numb, and he was finding it challenging to connect with his partner and children. He had turned to drink and workaholism as a way of numbing his feelings.

When we gently explored what was going on for him, he realised he had spent decades pushing down fear, frustration, bitterness and sadness. His body held on to all the emotion including a tight chest, migraines, and a clenched jaw. His anxiety was not a personal flaw. It was the result of a lifetime of holding everything in. 

Once he learned how to understand and relate to his emotions and regulate his nervous system, he was able to give himself permission to tune in to his body and feel, and the chest tightness eased for the first time in years.

If you’re recognising the silent pressures that so many men carry alone, know that support is within reach.

 

Click the button today to speak to an Anxiety Specialist

The Body Keeps The Score

One of my favourite books is called The Body Keeps the Score by Bessel van der Kolk. In this book, he explains how trauma has a lasting impact on our bodies and has the power to disrupt and destroy our lives. 

He states that neuroscience research shows that the only way we can change the way we feel is by becoming aware of our inner experience and learning to befriend what is going on inside ourselves. This is where therapy can really help exploration in a safe and supported environment.

It is important to note here that trauma is not limited to war veterans who have experienced terrible things, trauma is prevalent among most of us. It can be the result of a childhood experience, a relationship breakdown, financial struggles or anything else that has been triggered by deep pain, sorrow and sadness.

Understanding How Anxiety Affects Our Bodies

Men often notice physical discomfort long before they notice emotional strain. Anxiety can create changes such as:

• Tension in shoulders, neck or jaw
• A heavy or tight feeling in the chest
• Trouble sleeping or waking early
• A restless need to move or stay busy
• Digestive issues or loss of appetite
• Irritability and low tolerance for stress
• Feeling numb or disconnected from loved ones

The NHS notes that many men delay seeking support until these symptoms begin interrupting work, family life or physical health, and this mirrors what we see in Anxiety Therapy.

Why Men Push Through Until They Burn Out

One of the biggest patterns we see is that Men push and push until something breaks.

They ignore the early warning signs because:

• They believe they should cope
• They fear being judged
• They worry others will lose respect for them
• They do not feel they deserve support
• They do not know how to explain what they feel

Meanwhile, adrenaline and cortisol (our stress hormones) continue to rise. The body stays on heightened alert. The nervous system remains in fight and flight. Over time, this can lead to exhaustion, burnout, emotional withdrawal and physical health problems.

While pushing through may work temporarily, it can not be sustained.

The Science Behind Mens Stress Reactions

Men often respond to stress with action. The nervous system becomes activated, and instead of asking for help, many men:

• Work longer hours
• Take on extra tasks
• Distract themselves and stay constantly busy
• Numb their feelings with alcohol or other substances
• Retreat emotionally

Once the fight and flight response feels familiar, calmness can feel threatening because it creates space for emotions to rise.

Men are also more likely to shift into shutdown when stress becomes too much. This may include numbness, emotional distance, lack of interest, a sense of flatness and loss of hope.

The good news is the mind and nervous system can change. With the right support, men can learn how to move out of survival mode and into calmer, more connected states. This is the foundation of our therapy and a core part of the work we do at Better Your Life.

The Man Who Could Not Sit Still

Another client filled every minute of his day. If he stopped moving, he felt uncomfortable. He said silence made his mind louder. He took on more and more work, and tried to white-knuckle his way through life, with limited effect. 

This led him to avoid spending time with his partner, and he could no longer relax in the evening. He eventually contacted me when the relationship was breaking down.

Underneath this constant activity was anxiety; the silent, internal pressure that grows slowly. He realised he had not sat with his own thoughts for years.

When we taught him grounding breathwork and body awareness, his world shifted. He discovered that calm did not mean weakness, it meant safety. Calm meant clarity, and meant he could finally hear what his body and mind needs again.

 

How Anxiety Impacts Everyday Life for Men

Anxiety often shows up in small behaviours that men rarely connect to emotional health. You may recognise some of these patterns:

• Snapping over small things
• Feeling overwhelmed by noise or demands
• Avoiding conversations that feel emotionally heavy
• Working longer to avoid thinking or feeling
• Scrolling or drinking to switch off
• Feeling distant from loved ones
• Losing motivation and assuming it is laziness
• Thinking you should cope better
• Feeling guilty for needing rest

These are not signs of weakness. They are signs of emotional overload.

You Are Not Broken

While we are now talking more openly about anxiety, which is a good thing, it is being spoken about as if we are broken. This is so far from the truth.

Anxiety is evolutionary, and we would not have survived as a species without it. It is our body's natural way of keeping us safe. This served us well thousands of years ago, however our world today is so overstimulating, and we worry about judgment not just from our own tribe, but from everyone we can come into contact with, be that in the real world or beyond.

Our bodies are incredible, they send us messages constantly and it is important that we listen to what they are trying to tell us. This is where Anxiety Therapy can really help decipher those messages. When we have lost the ability to be in tune with our bodies and emotions, fear and hopelessness set in.

We are in the midst of an epidemic. Suicide and self harm are on the rise. These are permanent solutions to a temporary challenge. So many people are suffering in silence and only a few are seeking help.

Please know there is help available, and I encourage you to seek the support you need and focus on feeling better. 

Click the Button to Ask Us a Question about Anxiety

Practical Tools to Support Mens Health and Anxiety

These techniques help regulate the nervous system and create a sense of calm. They are not intended as an alternative to getting to the root cause of anxiety and seeking support from a therapist or your GP when you need it. 

1. Slow breathing for nervous system reset

Breathe in for the count of four.

Breathe out for the count of six.

Many people underestimate the power our breath has over how we are feeling. When I our bodies are in a heightened state of alert, taking time to focus on our breathing can reset our mind and nervous system.

A longer exhale signals safety to the body and helps us find a moment of calm. Men often report feeling physically lighter within minutes.

2. Relax the jaw and tongue to create relief from anxiety

When we soften our jaw and relax the tongue from the roof of the mouth, the vagus nerve receives a message to calm us down. Our shoulders then drop, the tightness in our chest loosens, and our thoughts can begin to slow down.

3. Use a simple phrase to identify and express what you feel

If you struggle to talk about emotions, start with noticing what you are feeling in your body:

• My chest feels tight
• My mind feels loud
• I feel under pressure

This creates a connection instead of denial and provides self awareness. Once we recognise how we are feeling, we can take steps to address these feelings and understand what is causing them.

4. Micro moments of stillness

One minute of stillness is a great place to start. Place your hand on your chest or stomach. Feel the rise and fall of your breath. Don't judge, this is just to let your body know you are listening.

We often fight stillness and calm, so this is a great opportunity to just be in the present moment.

5. Move your body to release adrenaline

A brisk walk, stretching or strength training helps the nervous system complete the survival stress cycle.

6. Learn how to recognise your early warning signals

This is anxiety management at its most effective. You can stop being overwhelmed long before it peaks. You can do this using the Anxious Thoughts Diary. This workbook comes with full instructions so you can get started straight away.

When Should Men Reach Out for Support?

If anxiety is affecting your relationships, your sleep, your patience, your focus or your enjoyment of life, now is the right time. You do not need to wait until things fall apart.

Support is not a sign of weakness. It is a sign of wisdom. Many men say the ability to finally breathe and feel understood changes everything.

Click the Button to Ask Us a Question about Anxiety

Your Next Step Toward Calm

If you are ready to take back control of your anxious thoughts, begin with our calming Circle of Control and Influence Workbook. When life is feeling overwhelming, it will help you release mental pressure and understand what is within your control and influence.

Download your calming Circle of Control and Influence Workbook

You do not need to struggle alone.

Now is the right time to take back control of your life and free yourself from those anxious thoughts.

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Frequently Asked Questions About Mens Health and Anxiety

1. Why Do I Get Angry Instead of Anxious?

Anger can be a protective response. When anxiety feels unsafe to express, the body shifts into a stronger emotion. You are not choosing anger. Your nervous system is trying to cope.

2. Why Do I Feel Numb When I am Stressed?

Numbness is a form of shutdown. When the nervous system becomes overwhelmed, it reduces emotional intensity to protect you.

3. Why Do I Find it So Hard to Ask For Help?

Many men have been taught to cope alone. Asking for help can feel unfamiliar, not weak. It takes strength to let someone support you.

4. Can Anxiety Affect My Physical Health?

Yes. Anxiety can impact sleep, digestion, blood pressure, hormones and concentration. The sooner it is understood, the easier it is to manage.

5. Is Burnout The Same as Anxiety?

Burnout often develops when anxiety goes unaddressed for a long time. They can exist together, and burnout usually includes emotional exhaustion and reduced motivation.

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