How to Sleep With Insomnia and Anxiety

Why Anxiety Keeps You Awake

Anxiety is the body’s natural response to perceived danger. It activates the sympathetic nervous system, which we call the fight-or-flight response. When this system is triggered, stress hormones like cortisol and adrenaline are released to keep us alert, energised and ready to face a threat.

This was incredibly helpful when predators were chasing us. It's not so helpful when we’re lying in bed trying to get some sleep.

The problem is that our brains haven’t caught up with the modern world. We’re no longer facing daily threats to our lives, but we are bombarded with deadlines, notifications, comparisons, and constant pressure. Our nervous systems are working overtime, and our brains don’t always know the difference between a real threat and an imagined one.

What makes things worse is that humans are meaning-making creatures. We can project into the future, ruminate on the past, and catastrophize in the present. Meaning we can worry about things that have not yet happened, and these are more often than not never likely to occur in the way we think

Do not dwell in the past, do not dream of the future, concentrate the mind on the present moment. Budda.

That’s why bedtime can become the perfect storm, with fewer distractions and no one to talk to, your brain turns up the volume on every worry it can find. We also have a negativity bias, which enables us to create a worst-case scenario in our minds. We call this way of thinking Cognitive Distortions.

A study from Harvard Medical School confirms the cyclical nature of anxiety and insomnia, whereby anxiety increases sleep disturbances, and sleep deprivation increases anxiety, thus creating an anxious spiral. The next night, we may feel even more anxious, making it even harder to fall or stay asleep, and this cycle continues.

1. After a tough day, you feel anxious, making it hard to fall asleep.

2. As you lie there, you start to become anxious about not sleeping.

3. You lie awake longer, tossing and turning, and your stress levels rise.

4. If you finally fall asleep, it is not the deep sleep we crave, and we wake up exhausted and even more anxious.

5. And the cycle repeats.

Sound familiar? The key is breaking that cycle, and the good news is, you can.

How to Sleep Better When You’re Anxious

Sleep isn’t just an opportunity to rest, it is vital for our survival, and, like food and oxygen, we can’t live without it. During deep sleep, the brain processes emotions, repairs the body, boosts the immune system, and restores balance. When you’re not sleeping well, everything else feels challenging. It's harder to focus and concentrate, small tasks take longer than expected, and we may suffer from mood swings, impacting our work and relationships.

Here are some of the most effective ways to improve your sleep and reduce anxiety.

1. Understand Your Anxious Thoughts

So often, it’s not just our bodies that keep us awake; it’s our thoughts.

Unhelpful beliefs such as:

• “If I don’t sleep tonight, I won’t cope tomorrow.”
• “I’m broken — I’ll never sleep properly again.”
• “Everyone else can sleep. Why can’t I?”

These thoughts put a lot of pressure on us and trigger more anxiety, which triggers more sleeplessness.

Challenge these beliefs by asking:

• Is this thought really true?
• Have there been nights when I’ve slept well before?
• What would I say to a friend who thought this?

Download our Anxious Thoughts Diary Workbook and Reframing Your Anxious Thoughts Workbook to help you relieve the pressure and reduce the spiral of anxious overthinking.

2. Try Paradoxical Intention

This may sound strange, but sometimes, the harder you try to sleep, the more elusive it becomes.

Paradoxical intention is a technique where you give yourself permission *not* to sleep. Instead of lying there frustrated, you gently say to yourself, “It’s okay if I don’t sleep. I’m just going to rest.”

This mindset shift removes pressure and performance anxiety around sleep, making it much easier to drift off.

Paradoxical intention can be a powerful tool for breaking free from self-defeating patterns of thought and behaviour. It can also help reduce anxiety and increase feelings of control over our fears. 

3. Calm the Body Before Sleep

Anxiety lives in the body. If your muscles are tense, your heart is racing, or your breath is shallow, your brain receives the signal that something is wrong.

To interrupt that signal, start by calming the body and nervous system.

4. Progressive Muscle Relaxation

The progressive muscle relaxation technique works by releasing physical tension in our bodies when we are anxious and activating our parasympathetic nervous system, also known as our "rest-and-digest" mode. This tension accumulates as part of our natural fight-or-flight response to danger.

The exercise involves tensing or squeezing different muscle groups as we take a deep breath in, and then releasing and relaxing them as we slowly breathe out. If you feel more tension in a specific part of your body, you can repeat the exercise several times in this area.

To practice muscle relaxation, find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed. You can do this sitting with your feet on the floor, or I prefer it lying down in bed. You may wish to close your eyes.

Start by taking a long, deep breath in and out. On the next breath in, tense the muscles in your toes by squeezing them tight, and then relax your toes with your out-breath.

Move on to your calf muscles, squeeze and tense them on the in-breath, notice the tension, and then release with the out-breath.

In time with your breathing, tighten the muscles in your thighs, and then release.

Squeeze your buttocks as you breathe in, relax the muscles, and feel yourself sink into the seat or bed beneath you as you breathe out again.

Pull in your tummy muscles and hold them tight on the inhale. Release and soften as you let out a big sigh.

Tense your arm muscles and squeeze your hands into fists. As you breathe out, relax and let the tension go.

As you inhale, lift your shoulders toward your ears, and let them gradually fall as you exhale.

Focus on the facial muscles around your eyes and jaw, and scrunch up your face on the inhale and relax on the exhale.

Lastly, tense your entire body, feel the tension, and then release it with a long, deep sigh. Relax and let go.

Take a moment to notice how you feel now.

Many people fall asleep halfway through this process. It’s a gentle way to signal to your brain that you’re safe and it’s okay to rest.

5. Visualisation and Guided Imagery

Visualisation involves using our imagination to create a calming image in our minds. It works because our brains don’t know the difference between what is real and what is imagined, so the same feel-good hormones are released as if we are having that experience in real life.

Everyone can visualise; we do it all the time. For example, if you decide you want a takeaway tonight, we can often see, smell, and taste the meal long before it arrives!

To practice a calming visualisation, ideally find a quiet place where you won’t be disturbed.

Close your eyes and imagine your favourite calming place. It may be a beach, your favourite holiday location or even your garden. It can be somewhere real or made up; it is wherever feels calming to you. Picture yourself standing there, surrounded by the peacefulness of nature.

Now, picture how it looks and engage all your senses. What do you see in this image? What can you hear and smell? Can you feel the sun or the wind on your face? Notice the colours all around you. Can you hear the waves or the leaves fluttering in the breeze? Take a deep breath and imagine you are breathing in the clean, fresh air of your favourite place.

Focus on this vision for several minutes until you feel calmer. Take a few more deep breaths, and when you feel ready, gently open your eyes. Notice how you feel now.

6. Mindful Breathing

Simple breathwork is a powerful way to calm your nervous system. It communicates that you are safe in this moment.

My favourite bedtime breathwork is  the 4-7-8 technique:

1.       As you breathe slowly and deeply in for the count of 4, feel your belly expand as you focus on that deep breath.

2.       Hold your breath for the count of 7

3.       Breathe out for the count of 8 and feel your belly contract again

4.       Repeat for three rounds, and then notice how you are feeling

Even three rounds of this can help calm your body.

Simple Lifestyle Shifts That Support Sleep

Sometimes, the path to better sleep isn’t your thoughts but habits.

7. Diet and Hydration

Certain foods and drinks can trigger anxiety and disrupt sleep. Common culprits include:

- Caffeine, which is found in coffee, tea, chocolate, and fizzy drinks,

- Alcohol may assist with falling asleep, but it disrupts deep sleep.

- Sugar and processed foods

Instead, support your sleep routine with:

- Herbal teas like chamomile, passionflower, or lemon balm

- Snacks rich in magnesium, such as pumpkin seeds, spinach, and almonds.

- Light evening snacks containing tryptophan, such as oats, turkey, or bananas.

Try to avoid heavy meals right before bedtime.

8. Gentle Movement

Exercise not only enhances our physical health, but it can also reduce anxiety and promote deeper sleep.

Aim for regular, moderate movement like:

• Walking outdoors
• Swimming
• Yoga
• Stretching

Avoid intense workouts just before bed, as they may be too stimulating. However, an aerobic routine earlier in the day can work wonders and release feel-good hormones such as endorphins.

9. Create a Sleep-Friendly Space

Your bedroom should be a haven for sleep, and it sends strong cues to your brain. To enhance it:

• Keep your bedroom dark, quiet and cool
• Use blackout curtains or an eye mask
• Remove screens and electronic devices from the room
• Use soft lighting in the evening
• Consider scents like lavender or vetiver to promote relaxation

Only use your bed for sleep and intimacy, not for work, scrolling, or worrying!

Small changes can make a big difference.

10. Keep a Sleep Diary

The Sleep Foundation recommends keeping a sleep diary to identify areas for improvement. A sleep diary is a daily record of your sleep patterns and habits, designed to help you identify potential issues and improve the quality of your sleep. It typically includes information about bedtime, wake-up time, sleep duration, and factors that may affect your sleep, such as caffeine and alcohol consumption, exercise, and medications.

Many smart watches can also give invaluable insights into our sleep patterns.

When to See an Anxiety Therapist

If you have been struggling with anxiety and sleep for more than a few months, it is essential to know that help is available, and you do not have to face it alone.

You may benefit from support if:

• You regularly dread bedtime
• You wake up exhausted, no matter how much sleep you get
• Your sleep issues are impacting your work, relationships, or health
• You’ve tried self-help strategies and still feel stuck

As an Anxiety Specialist and Therapist, I work with people every day who feel trapped in this cycle. Together, we explore the roots of anxiety, rewire unhelpful thought patterns, and introduce personalised techniques to rebuild a healthier relationship with sleep.

Therapies like NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming), heart-centred Emotional Change Therapy, and neuroscience-based approaches can be really powerful in creating long-lasting change, without relying on medication.

Ready to Feel Like Yourself Again?

You don’t have to live in fear of when the next wave of insomnia will hit. You don’t have to Google your symptoms late at night, hoping for answers.

If you are struggling with anxiety and would like guidance, our team at Better Your Life is here to support you. Together, we will find ways to reduce anxiety and improve your overall health.

A trained Anxiety Therapist can prescribe a personalised plan to help you understand the underlying cause of your anxiety, as well as help develop healthy coping strategies that are focused on your individual needs.

Taking care of your mental wellbeing is an essential part of your overall wellbeing. Left unresolved, anxiety can spiral out of control and have a significant impact on relationships, work, school and family life.

So if you want to take back control and have a happier life where your fears no longer hold you back, click the link below and book a free no obligation consultation call.

 

Further Support with Insomnia and Anxiety

A trained Anxiety Therapist can prescribe a personalised plan to help you understand the underlying cause of your anxiety, as well as help develop healthy coping strategies that are focused on your individual needs.

Taking care of your mental wellbeing is an essential part of your overall wellbeing. Left unresolved, anxiety can spiral out of control and have a significant impact on relationships, work, school and family life.

So if you want to take back control and have a happier life where your fears no longer hold you back, click the link below and book a free no obligation consultation call.

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If you’re struggling to sleep because of anxiety, please know this:

• You are not broken. 
• You are not weak. 
• You are not alone.

You’re experiencing a very common response to modern stress and past overwhelm, and it can be changed.

By understanding the link between your body, mind and sleep, making small adjustments to your lifestyle, and learning how to soothe your nervous system, you can begin to reclaim your nights and restore your days.

If you're ready to go deeper, I'd love to help.

Book a free call or take my to discover the next step that's right for you. 

You deserve to feel calm, safe, and well-rested.

 Let’s take that first step — together.

FAQs: Your Questions Answered

Why does anxiety get worse at night?

Because you’re no longer distracted by tasks or people. Your brain has space to think, and often that means worry.

Plus, tiredness can lower your ability to regulate emotions, making things feel more intense.

Is insomnia caused by anxiety?

In many cases, yes. Anxiety can disrupt the normal processes that prepare the body for sleep, keeping you alert when you should be winding down.

How long does it take to fix sleep issues?

It varies. Some people see improvements in a few days with small changes. For others, it’s a longer journey, especially if sleep problems have been around for months or years. But with the right tools and support, restful sleep is always possible.

Should I nap if I’m not sleeping at night?

Short naps (20–30 minutes) can help if you’re exhausted. But prolonged or late naps may make night-time sleep harder. Use them sparingly while building healthier routines.

 

Other Resources

Understand What is Anxiety? 

Discover How To Reduce Anxiety Right Now

Watch some Breathing Techniques to Reduce Anxiety

Watch Why Do I Feel Anxious after Drinking Alcohol

Read Can Journaling Help With Anxiety

Read What Is Burnout and How To Overcome It 

Read How To Choose the Right Therapist for Your Needs

Download The Circle of Control and Influence Worksheet

Download The Anxious Thoughts Diary Workbook

Download Our Guide How to Help Your Anxious Child

Download Our Guide How to Manage Stress and Anxiety in the Workplace