Overcome Anxious Thoughts and Limiting Beliefs

Many of us face limiting beliefs, often without even realising it, and these beliefs can lead to anxious thoughts.

These thoughts and beliefs are invisible barriers limiting our true potential and creating thinking cycles of self-doubt, fear, procrastination and avoidance. When we don't know how to question them, these patterns keep us from saying yes to opportunities, relationships and goals.

However, these anxious thoughts and beliefs are not factual. With the right approach, we can identify, challenge, and replace them with more empowering thoughts and beliefs, creating more resiliency, confidence, growth, and fulfilment. 

If you’re struggling with anxious thoughts or limiting beliefs, working with an experienced anxiety specialist can provide the tailored support you need to navigate these challenges effectively.

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Understanding the Link Between Anxious Thoughts and Limiting Beliefs

Anxious thoughts can create limiting beliefs, and limiting beliefs can create anxious thoughts; these beliefs are subconscious assumptions that restrict what we believe is possible. They are typically shaped by past experiences, particularly in childhood, and can linger for years if left unchallenged.

When Do We Form Beliefs?

At its core, a belief is simply a feeling of certainty about what something means or something you believe to be true. The challenge is that many of our beliefs were formed unconsciously, often in early childhood. Early childhood is when we are most impressionable, and many of our core beliefs are formed by the age of 7.

During these formative years, we interpret the world through the lens of our experiences so far, relationships and environments. Negative comments from peers, critical feedback from authority figures or challenging life events can leave a lasting impact.

For example, someone who was once criticised for making a mistake when they were 5 years old may form the belief, “I’m not good enough,” which then fuels anxious thoughts about future situations. These thoughts can continue during their 20s, 30s, 40s, 50s and so on. All based on something that happened decades ago when they were too young to understand or question what they were told.

Being told, "You'll never be good at this", by a teacher or parent may lead to a lifelong belief of inadequacy in that area. These beliefs are further reinforced as we try and validate our thoughts by unconsciously seeking evidence to support them, thus shaping how we approach challenges and perceive ourselves in adulthood. Recognising where these thoughts come from is a crucial step towards rewriting these narratives.

But here’s the truth: the past doesn’t define the present, unless we allow it to.

Untapped Potential

We all have untapped potential within us, and the results we achieve often fail to reflect this reality. This is exacerbated when we feel anxious because our unconscious thoughts and limiting beliefs hold us back and prevent us from reaching our true capabilities.

When we are feeling confident and curious, we naturally focus our energy on things we believe will lead to success. However, if we have even the slightest anxiety or self-doubt about what we can achieve, we end up sabotaging our true potential.

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Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

This leads to us taking, at best, hesitant, half-hearted actions that result in poor outcomes. These unsatisfying results become a self-fulfilling prophecy, reinforcing our anxiety further and limiting our belief even more in what is possible. And so on and so on; the cycle continues to repeat.

If we struggled in school, we may grow up thinking that we are not smart enough. As a result of this, we may feel anxious about raising our hand to ask for clarification of something we don’t understand for fear of embarrassing ourselves. This results in even more confusion and reinforces our thoughts and beliefs that we are not smart enough. And before we know it, we have subconsciously given up trying to understand. This belief drives all future behaviour, including  any dreams we may have had of going to college or university, as well as influencing the career we chose.

These beliefs fuel increased anxious thoughts, creating a cycle of fear and inaction that can be difficult to break. 

Understanding the Confidence Cycle

To break free from the grip of anxious thoughts and beliefs, it’s helpful to understand the Confidence Cycle. This  shows how our beliefs, actions, and results influence one another:

Thoughts and Beliefs: What we think about ourselves determines how much potential we believe we have.

Potential: Strong positive beliefs unlock more of our capabilities and potential.

Actions: When we believe in ourselves and our capabilities, we take more focused and meaningful actions.

Results: Meaningful actions lead to better outcomes, reinforcing confidence and reducing anxiety.

By consciously working on each step of this cycle, we can shift from anxious thinking to a more empowered mindset. And when we see good results, our beliefs are reinforced, creating increased confidence and certainty.

So, breaking free from anxious thoughts and beliefs has to start with curiosity and a decision to consciously challenge and change the thoughts and beliefs we have.

This is how we can overcome anxiety using the exposure ladder. By going just outside our comfort zone and into our stretch zone, we can prove to ourselves that we are capable, which increases our confidence, one step at a time, and we gain momentum to keep going.

It’s a simple yet profound concept, one that can completely transform how we relate to anxiety and how we approach our goals.

The Confidence Cycle Can Also Work Against Us

If we remain in an anxious state of mind, the Confidence Cycle can have a negative impact.

Our beliefs hold immense power, they can drive us to create fantastic outcomes, but they can also limit us and keep us stuck or playing small.

We have a choice!

Is Revision Hard??

I was recently working with a 15 year old client who is about to start revising for his mock exams, these are practice exams before the real exams later in the year.

He was explaining to me how hard revision is; I realised that this was one of his limiting beliefs and it was holding him back from achieving what he needed to do. We got curious and explored this further.

Q Did he find all subjects equally hard or was there a difference between the subjects he enjoyed and those he didn’t?

A Of course there was a difference.

Q Did his teacher have an influence over the subjects he enjoyed, and how he felt about revising?

A Yes, it is harder to revise when the teacher rushes the subject and doesn’t explain it properly

Q Does time pass at the same speed equally for all subjects?

A No, it goes quicker when revising the subjects he enjoys.

These were just a few of the questions we got curious about.

When it came to reframing his belief about revision, he now believes it is unique to how he feels about the subject. He now believes revision is satisfying as he realises how much he has learnt, and time can fly by when enjoying revising!! Can you see how these new beliefs will change the way he learns for the rest of his life?

When something is difficult, we often feel that we have to allow a big time block to get it done. We spend a lot of time thinking about doing something and then procrastinate because it feels overwhelming. This increases our anxiety and overwhelm and validates our thoughts that revision is hard. It becomes a downward spiral of thoughts, feelings, and inaction.

At our next session, my client was late to our call. This was really out of character, and when I called him he apologised …… he was so engrossed in his revision he had lost track of time!!!

Overcoming a Limiting Belief of Public Speaking

I had a firm belief that I could not speak in public or present in front of others. This belief was formed at the age of 11, when I had to read something in front of the classroom. I messed up my words, had a panic attack and was left feeling embarrassed and inadequate, so I held on to that belief very tightly for over 40 years!!

As my business expanded, I knew I had to challenge this belief. I got curious because I wanted to go into schools and help children understand what anxiety actually is, and why no one needs to struggle if they have the right tools and techniques.

It was only because my desire to help children who believed they were broken in some way was so strong that I was able to start looking into learning how to be a speaker.

The process wasn’t easy. As I was learning, my voice wobbled and my legs shook during my first attempts, but over time, I transformed that fear into a strength. Today, I’ve spoken at hundreds of schools, universities and corporate companies, won awards, and even appeared on television, training celebrities to speak from the stage.

The takeaway? Limiting beliefs are not permanent. With curiosity and persistence, we can rewrite our stories and achieve more than we ever thought possible.

If only I had been curious sooner!!

You may wish to download the free Exposure Ladder worksheet to help you overcome your limiting beliefs in public speaking. 

Are Our Beliefs Serving and Empowering Us?

It’s easy to find evidence to support almost any belief.

I had evidence of doing a terrible job of speaking in the classroom, but the real question is understanding whether our beliefs serve and empower us.

If they do not, then it’s time to change them as there is a high chance that our anxious beliefs are stopping us from taking action towards the life we truly want.

We all have a choice, and we can turn our current limiting beliefs into opportunities for growth and transformation, by creating new truths.

The only thing holding us back from what we want is often the story we keep telling ourselves, and now is the right time to rewrite that story.

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Practical Steps to Overcome Limiting Beliefs

Here are some actionable steps to help you break free from limiting beliefs and reduce anxious thoughts:

1. Identify Your Beliefs

Take time to reflect on your thoughts. Are there recurring beliefs that might be holding you back? For example, “I’m not strong enough to overcome my anxiety” or “I’ll never succeed.”

2. Challenge the Belief

Ask yourself: Is this belief based on fact or assumption?

What evidence do I have that contradicts this belief?

3. Reframe the Belief

Replace limiting beliefs with empowering ones. For example, instead of “I’ll never feel calm,” reframe it as, “I’m learning to manage my anxiety one step at a time.”

4. Take Small Steps with the Exposure Ladder

The exposure ladder is a powerful tool for managing anxiety. It involves gradually facing situations that trigger anxious thoughts, starting with small challenges and building up to more difficult ones.

For example, if you too want to overcome a fear of speaking in public:

Step 1: Speak out loud in front of the mirror.

Step 2: Speak out loud in front of a trusted friend or family member.

Step 3: Speak up in a small familiar group.

Step 4: Share a presentation with close colleagues.

Step 5: Present to a larger audience who you know and are familiar with.

Step 6: Present to a group of strangers in a small intimate setting

Step 7: Present to a larger group in a more formal setting

Each step reinforces your confidence and reduces anxiety over time.

Do not move on to the next step until you are comfortable with your current step.

Below are 16 of the most common limiting beliefs many of us experience. By recognising them, and replacing them with beliefs that empower us, we open the door to more opportunities for success and fulfilment.

1. "I don’t have time to deal with my anxiety."

Many of us feel overwhelmed by the demands of daily life, leaving little time to focus on managing anxiety. However, setting aside just a few moments each day to work through the Journalling Questions to Reduce Anxiety workbook, and to practise mindfulness, breathing exercises, or grounding techniques as these too can make a difference. Small steps lead to big changes when we prioritise them. Working with an anxiety therapist can speed up this process

2. "I can’t afford to get help with my anxiety."

While private therapy or courses may initially seem costly, there are many affordable or free options across the UK, such as NHS. You can also take a look at my website www.betteryourlife.co.uk were there are many free resources.

Remember, the cost of anxiety and limiting beliefs that are left unmanaged, on our health, relationships and overall quality of life, is far greater.

3. "I don’t have the willpower to overcome my anxiety."

Managing anxiety isn’t about sheer willpower; it’s about building habits and learning strategies that work for us. Just like building strength through regular exercise, we can strengthen our ability to handle anxiety with consistent practice and support.

4. "I don’t understand how to help myself."

Anxiety can feel confusing, but resources are abundant. Check out my website at www.betteryourlife.co.uk or subscribe to my You Tube channel for regular free resources and advice.

5. "I’m just not strong enough."

Strength isn’t about never feeling anxious; it’s about learning how to navigate it. Every time we face anxiety and take even the smallest step forward, we’re proving to ourselves that we’re capable.

6. "I don’t deserve support."

Anxiety often makes us feel unworthy, but everyone deserves compassion and care. Talking to loved ones or an anxiety specialist about our feelings is a brave and necessary step towards healing.

7. "People will judge me if I share my struggles."

In the UK, discussions about our mental wellbeing are becoming more open and accepted. Sharing our experiences can inspire understanding and even encourage others to share theirs.

8. "What if I’m a burden to others?"

The people who care about us want to support us. Anxiety is a human experience, not a personal failing, and asking for help strengthens connections rather than weakens them.

We all get anxious at times, nobody is immune from it.

9. "I’ll never feel comfortable in social situations."

Social anxiety can improve with gradual exposure and practice. By using the exposure ladder and taking small steps, such as attending a group activity doing something you enjoy, we can build confidence and ease over time.

10. "I’ll never succeed because of my anxiety."

Anxiety can be a challenge, but it doesn’t define us. Many successful people in the UK have managed anxiety by creating strategies that work for them, like practising mindfulness or seeking support from an anxiety therapist and specialist.

11. "I’m not good enough."

Imposter syndrome is common form of anxiety, but it’s not reality. By celebrating our achievements, however small, and recognising our value, we can challenge this limiting belief.

12. "I need to be perfect to succeed."

Perfectionism is also a form of anxiety, but it’s not necessary for success. In fact, it is never achievable. Progress, not perfection, is what creates meaningful change.

13. "I’ll always feel this way."

Anxiety is not a life sentence. With the right tools and support, it’s possible to reduce its impact and find peace.

14. "I can’t manage my physical symptoms."

The racing heart, tense muscles, and other symptoms of anxiety are our body’s natural response to stress. Techniques like deep breathing or meditation can help us manage these sensations.

Understanding how the fight-and-flight response works can also help us learn the correct strategies to calm our nervous system back down.

15. "I have to manage this all on my own."

We are never alone in our struggles with anxiety. Whether through friends, family, or professionals, support is available when we reach out for it.

Our beliefs about anxiety can hold us back, but they can also propel us forward. By recognising these limiting thoughts and challenging them, we can embrace a calmer, more fulfilling life.

The next time we catch ourselves saying, “I can’t”, let’s ask ourselves, “What if I can?”

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FAQs About Anxiety

1. What are the most common symptoms of anxiety?

Anxiety symptoms can vary, but they often include a feeling of nervousness, overwhelm and excessive worrying.  Some people also experience physical symptoms such as headaches, stomach issues, muscle tension, a racing heart, shortness of breath, restlessness, and difficulty sleeping. Recognising these signs early can help in seeking support. 

2. How can I manage anxiety naturally without medication?

Many people search for natural ways to manage anxiety. Techniques like mindfulness meditation, regular exercise, and maintaining a healthy diet can make a big difference.

Practising deep breathing exercises and journaling can also help to reduce anxious thoughts. Seeking the support from a professional anxiety therapist can provide tailored strategies for you to manage anxiety without the need for medication.

3. What causes anxiety, and can it go away on its own?

Anxiety can be caused by a combination of environmental and lifestyle factors, as well as learnt behaviours. While mild anxiety might come and go, persistent or severe anxiety often requires guidance from a professional anxiety therapist to address the root causes and provide coping strategies. 

4. How is anxiety different from everyday stress?

While stress is a temporary response to specific situations, anxiety often lingers and can occur without an obvious trigger. Anxiety often involves worrying about something that has happened in the past, or a future event that has not yet happened. Anxiety is more intense and persistent than stress, frequently interfering with daily life, relationships, and work. Understanding the difference can help you decide when it’s time to seek help from an anxiety therapist. 

5. Can anxiety impact my physical health long-term?

Yes, chronic anxiety can take a toll on your physical health. Prolonged anxiety is linked to issues such as high blood pressure, digestive disorders, and weakened immunity. Taking steps to manage anxiety is essential for both your mental and physical wellbeing. 

6. What are limiting beliefs about anxiety?

Limiting beliefs about anxiety are negative thoughts or misconceptions we hold about our ability to manage or overcome anxiety. For example, believing “I’ll never feel calm” or “I’m just an anxious person” can prevent us from seeking effective strategies or anxiety therapy to improve our well-being.

7. How do limiting beliefs increase anxiety?

Limiting beliefs create a cycle of fear and self-doubt that feeds anxiety. For instance, believing that “I’ll fail no matter what” can stop us from taking action, leading to avoidance behaviours and heightened anxiety over time. Recognising these beliefs and challenging them with the support of an anxiety therapist can help break this cycle.