How To Manage Our Emotions
Recognising that anxiety is an emotion, not a way of being, is the first step in managing our emotions.
Anxiety can range from mild to severe, and is characterised by feelings of unease, nervousness or worry. The primary emotion to anxiety is fear.
I believe that understanding and mastering our emotions is crucial in managing stress and anxiety, as our emotions influence how we think, behave and interact with the world.
Mastering our emotions is one of the many steps we can take to reduce stress and anxiety. By recognising, understanding, and managing our emotional responses, we can create a healthier and more balanced life.
Here we offer practical strategies to help us navigate our emotions with curiosity and compassion, and this enables us to take back control of our feelings and create a sense of calm and balance in our daily life.
Understanding Emotions
Emotions can be complex, involving physical responses such as an increased heartrate, and they impact our thoughts, our behaviours and our actions. They can be triggered by either the internal voice in our heads or external events. Common emotions include joy, love, sadness, anger, fear and surprise. Each emotion plays a crucial role in our overall life experiences.
Stress and anxiety are both triggered by the fear emotion.
We all have behaviours we turn to unconsciously when emotions feel overwhelming. These numbing behaviours might include indulging in too much alcohol, mindlessly searching the fridge for snacks, binge-watching TV or endlessly scrolling through social media.
While distracting ourselves may provide immediate relief in the short term, these strategies can become unhelpful in the long term.
By identifying these habits, we can learn to spot the signs that we’re struggling and begin addressing our emotions instead of numbing them.
Recognising Our Emotions
The first step to mastering our emotions is to recognise them. Pay attention to your feelings throughout the day. Understanding what triggers these emotions can help you anticipate and manage them better.
I often suggest to my clients to set an alarm on their phone so they can tune into the emotion at that very moment. You can download the Emotions Diary Workbook so you are able to track them. This workbook also includes the feelings or emotions wheel, so you are able to identify exactly what emotion you are feeling.
Accepting Our Emotions
While it might seem counterintuitive, welcoming all of our emotions with curiosity can help us stop fighting against them. Instead of pushing our unpleasant emotions down, we can allow them to just be, without judgment. This reduces the time and energy we waste on resisting them and helps us embrace emotions as the natural, temporary experiences that they are, instead of the core of our being.
Try and avoid labelling yourself as an emotion, such as “I am anxious”. Recognise that you are experiencing anxiety instead, and the emotion will pass. The emotions diary workbook helps us to recognise that we can experience multiple emotions in any one day.
Emotions are natural and valid responses to life’s experiences. Suppressing or ignoring them can lead to increased anxiety.
Turning towards our emotions means acknowledging them and letting ourselves feel their sensations without fear or suppression. By doing this, we can soothe ourselves as the intensity fades. This approach allows us to process emotions in a way that feels manageable, creating a healthier relationship with our feelings.
Identifying Emotional Triggers
Our emotional triggers often come from our memories and past experiences.
Using the Emotions Diary Workbook, we are able to identify what triggers our emotional responses. Triggers can be specific people, places or situations. Understanding our triggers allows us to prepare and manage our reactions effectively.
Over time, we build resilience by learning to navigate challenging moments with greater confidence and control.
Practice Self Soothing
Self-soothing involves comforting and grounding ourselves in the moment without relying on harmful coping mechanisms. We might find solace in simple actions like:
- Wrapping up in a soft blanket or a weighted hoodie
- Listening to calming music
- Taking a warm bath
- Lighting a scented candle or using aromatherapy
- Engaging in gentle stretches or yoga
These practices help us feel secure while we navigate difficult emotions.
Practicing Mindfulness
Mindfulness involves staying present and fully engaging with the current moment. It helps us become more aware of our thoughts and feelings, reducing the impact of negative emotions. Practicing mindfulness can be as simple as focusing on your breath or paying attention to your surroundings.
Focus on 5 things you can see, 4 things you can hear, 3 things you can touch, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.
Developing Emotional Intelligence
Emotional intelligence (EI) involves understanding and managing our emotions effectively while empathising with others. This includes self-awareness, emotional regulation and interpersonal skills. Developing this skill can enhance personal relationships and reduce emotional stress.
Using Positive Self-Talk
Our internal dialogue shapes our emotional reality. Positive self-talk involves replacing negative thoughts with positive ones. This practice can boost our mood and reduce anxiety. You can use the Anxious Thoughts Diary Workbook to help with this.
Recognise the language you are using with yourself. Would you talk to a friend or a loved one that way? Notice not just the words but the tone of voice too.
When I became aware of the tone I sometimes talked to myself with, I made a conscious effort to talk to myself in the same tone I used with my daughter when she was younger. I can honestly say it made a huge difference to me once I did this.
Building Resilience
Resilience is the ability to bounce back from difficulties. Building resilience involves developing coping strategies, such as problem-solving skills, seeking support and maintaining a positive outlook. Resilience helps us manage stress and recover from setbacks more effectively.
Practicing Relaxation Techniques
Relaxation techniques, such as deep breathing, progressive muscle relaxation and visualisation can help reduce stress and anxiety. These techniques promote a sense of calm and relaxation by activating the parasympathetic nervous system (the opposite of our fight and flight sympathetic nervous system), making it easier to manage our emotions.
Engaging in Physical Activity
Regular exercise is a powerful tool for managing anxiety and our emotions. Exercise releases endorphins, which are natural mood boosters. Regular physical activity can reduce anxiety, depression and stress, helping us feel more emotionally balanced. This could include a short walk in a park, or engaging in a team sport.
Exercising in nature increases the feel good factor further.
Maintaining a Healthy Lifestyle
A healthy lifestyle can have a significant impact on our emotional well-being. Ensure you get enough sleep, eat a balanced diet and avoid excessive alcohol and caffeine. A healthy body supports a healthy mind.
Cultivating Healthy Relationships
Strong, supportive relationships can enhance our emotional wellbeing. Choose who to spend time with and surround yourself with people you trust, and who uplift, understand and support you.
It has been scientifically proven that positive social interactions encourage feelings of connection, one of our basic human needs, and can reduce stress and improve our overall mood.
Setting Boundaries
Setting boundaries is essential for protecting our emotional health. When we say yes to someone else, we are often saying no to ourselves.
We may find ourselves people pleasing however it is important to be able to say no to things that cause undue stress or anxiety. This isn’t about avoiding anything that makes you feel anxious, this is about prioritising you.
Boundaries help us manage our time and energy more effectively, reducing emotional overwhelm. By setting limits, you can focus on what truly matters and prevent burnout.
Practicing Gratitude
Don’t underestimate the value of gratitude.
Gratitude involves focusing and appreciating the positive aspects of our life. Keeping a gratitude journal or simply taking time each day to reflect on what we are thankful for can improve our mood and reduce stress. Download our free workbook, Journaling Questions to Reduce Anxiety.
It doesn’t need to be anything big, it may be as simple as the sun on our face or a beautiful sky. Practicing gratitude before bed also encourages a better nights sleep.
We naturally have a negativity bias as this helps ensure our survival. From an evolutionary perspective, it was far more important to remember where the tiger hangs out, than it was to remember how good last nights dinner tasted.
Our brains have not changed much in the past 200,000 years and therefore reflecting on things we appreciate daily can elevate our mood and help us find joy even during challenging times.
Engaging in Creative Activities
Creative activities, such as colouring, painting, writing or playing music, can be very therapeutic. They provide an outlet for expressing our emotions and can help us relax and unwind.
Seeking Professional Help
If you are finding it challenging to manage your emotions on your own, consider seeking help from an Anxiety Therapist. An anxiety therapist can provide you with the tools and strategies tailored to your own specific needs, helping you develop skills to cope with stress and anxiety.
Mastering your emotions takes practice and patience, and it is achievable. By recognising, accepting, and managing your emotions, you can reduce stress and anxiety, leading to a healthier, more fulfilling life.
Other Resources
Understand What is Anxiety?
Read How To Overcome Procrastination
Discover How To Reduce Anxiety Right Now
Learn How To Manage Workplace Stress and Anxiety
Watch some Breathing Techniques to Reduce Anxiety
Read Can Journalling Help With Anxiety
Read What Is Burnout and How To Overcome It
Frequently Asked Questions
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What causes anxiety?
Anxiety can be triggered by stress, learnt behaviours, personality traits, or past experiences. Identifying personal triggers can help in managing symptoms effectively. Keeping a journal to track anxious thoughts may offer insights. -
How can I manage anxiety in daily life?
Simple strategies like deep breathing, regular exercise, and maintaining a structured routine can reduce anxiety. Practicing mindfulness for just 10 minutes a day can help you feel calmer and more in control. -
What are the most common symptoms of anxiety?
Anxiety can show up as excessive worry, restlessness, trouble sleeping, or physical signs like a racing heart or tense muscles. If these symptoms persist, seeking support can be beneficial. -
How can I regulate my emotions better?
Emotional regulation starts with self-awareness. Techniques like journaling, grounding exercises, and mindful breathing can help you respond to emotions rather than react impulsively. -
When should I seek professional help for anxiety?
If anxiety is affecting your daily life, relationships, or ability to function, professional support can provide relief. Speaking to an anxiety specialist can help you develop long-term coping strategies.